"The sun came up! The end is near!"
"The sun went down! The end is REALLY near now!"
"I woke up with a gut filled with gas! The end is really, really near now!"
"The Watchtower told us to stay alert as 2034 approaches! Now the end is really, really, really near!"
"The Watchtower said to stop saying 'The end is near.' Armageddon must be right around the corner!"